H ello, remember me? I took a longer than anticipated break from the blog after having Ollie due to a bit of IT trouble, but I’ve managed to dig out Stu’s ancient laptop from the loft and pick up a shiny new Macbook for my birthday on Saturday… so I’m back up and running!
A few weeks ago I wrote a post setting out how life had changed in the first two weeks of becoming a Mum of two. I didn’t publish it initially because I knew I was finding the whole transition harder than expected and I didn’t want to appear negative in any way. However, now that I’m out of the other side, I’m publishing that post, together with this one in the hope that it acknowledges the fact that motherhood can throw in the odd curve ball once in a while. Even if everything is going exactly to plan, Mums can still find it hard, but that’s OK!
If you’re a new mum or about to become a Mum of two and are a little worried… then read on. Six weeks ago I was overwhelmed with emotions and finding the whole task of parenting two children a little bit daunting. Six weeks later, I couldn’t be happier. I have all the energy back that I lost during pregnancy and have made changes to our day to life that accommodate our new reality so I finally feel like I am fully adjusted… and im doing it! Keeping two children fed, happy and alive! Go me!
A friend once told me the jump from one to two children is much bigger than the change from none to one. I always thought this was a funny thing to say considering how life changing having a baby can be. But now I’ve experienced it and come out of the other side, I can fully appreciate that she was 100% correct.
In the previous post I wrote about the fears I had in terms of not having enough time to play with Ettie or have enough time to keep on top of the house work/ make meals because one of them needed my attention. I was upset at the thought of no longer being able to put Ettie to bed in the evening or go on little adventures together at the drop of the hat like we used to and finally, I was a bit nervous about being mum to a boy. He was the biggest surprise to all of us and after having Ettie (and being a girl all my life) I really wasn’t sure how to mother a son and that made me a little scared!
So six weeks later, what’s changed?
Well I remembered I can to cook for starters and I’m actually really enjoying it! A week after Ollie was born, my Mam, the amazing ‘Granny Jan’ came to stay with us for a month and she was fantastic. Cooking us a home cooked meal every evening, keeping on top of the mountain of ironing and playing ‘prams’ continually with Ettie!! She had so much energy, and without meaning to sound all 1950’s housewife, she made me remember what a ‘well kept’ house felt like. We had dinner on the table by 5.30 every night which gave us all chance to sit and chat about our day. It was lovely. After working full-time for the past 12 months, always chasing my tail trying to get things done, it was a new reality for us and something that I’d really like to keep up. So once it was time for Granny Jan to head for home, I ordered myself two new cook books from Amazon and set myself off on a mission to become a domestic goddess just like her!! (although she’s set the bar pretty high!)
I’ve made a pact with myself not to touch my phone in the morning until the days washing is in the machine and I’ve sorted what we’re having for dinner that night. I’ve also set aside Wednesdays as my blogging day so that it doesn’t eat into the rest of the week! These sounds like simple steps, but since entering this ‘social media world’ I’ve found myself falling into the bad habit of checking twitter and ‘the gram’ first thing in the morning, which just eats into the day. So now I leave my phone downstairs out of sight so I’m not tempted!
I think the main thing I’ve learned from Mam is that I just need to be more organised! Having one child meant I could pretty much carry on my normal life and just take her along with me, but having two means I need to be prepared!
Bed times have changed since my last post. Six weeks ago I was struggling with the fact that Ollie always seemed to need a feed right around Ettie’s bedtime and so I found myself stuck in another room feeding while Stu read her a bedtime story. This made me sad because bedtime is my favourite part of the day. I think there are only a handful of occasions when I haven’t read Ettie her story. So to overcome the problem, we made changes to our routine meaning that I either take Ollie in to her room with me and feed him while I’m reading, or we all have dinner together then I feed Ollie while Stu gives Ettie her bath meaning I’m back ready for action by story time! This new little set up is working really well for us. I get time with Ettie, Stu gets time to cuddle a fed and content little Ollie and we all have dinner in our belly’s during the most hectic part of the day!
Days out have changed in that we don’t have as many of them, but in all honesty I don’t mind. I’m well and truly in the middle of my newborn bubble and love nothing more than just chilling at home with my two babies. When Ettie was first born, we lived in a little village which meant I would have had to drive a car to go anywhere. Because I had a C-section with her, the car was our of bounds and so we spend our first six weeks nestled up in the house together and it was lovely. Over time as her interest grew, I wanted to make sure she experienced as many things as possible so we’d meet friends or do some form of ‘activity’ most days of the week (when I wasn’t working). Because that was our life, I was concerned that she’d get bored just sitting in the house, but its been the opposite. She’s my little helper, running off to get Ollie’s nappies when his bum needs changed and getting herself a cloth so she can clean the bathroom with me. It sounds as dull as dishwater and a little like child labour, but honestly we’re having the loveliest time and I know these are all memories I’ll cherish forever.
When we do go out, there isn’t a problem. Ollie just comes along too and chills in his pram. I think I was worried that by having a second baby, I automatically would have to cut down on the time I spend with my first, but that hasn’t been the case at all. If anything our time together is better as we are both looking after our new little gorgeous boy.
So you see what I am trying to say in this pretty ‘life is peachy’ blog post, is that if you are soon to become a Mum of two and you are worried, then please don’t be. You’ll find your new rhythm and life will take on a whole new normal… which you’ll love. Of course there’ll be moments when both babies are crying and it all gets a bit tense, but the love that you feel for your babies will completely take over, and as soon as you’ve sorted out the latest drama (be it putting the correct lid on a drinks cup, or finding the mislaid pink shorts that she absolutely must put on 5 minutes before bed time!) then order will be restored you’ll look at your babies with a huge warm heart thinking ‘I made them.’
I remember seeing a print by Sketchy Mama just after Ettie was born saying ‘Thankyou Mum I get it now’… and I knew there was a message in there somewhere but I didn’t truly ‘get it’ until Ollie was born. Spending such an extended period of time with my mam made me realise just how hard she worked when we were growing up. The house was always spotless & whilst we thought she was mad, looking back to me that’s what made it so cosy so its something I want to emulate for my children. Love you Mam, thankyou for showing me the ways of the world and how to be a good Mum xx